Wednesday, 9 February 2011

The beginnings

The beginnings have begun. I spoke quite openly to my wife about how to improve our sex life and she confessed to having quite a few fantasies! She was saying obviously the reality would be very different (later on I am going to offer her different realities - staged realities in which to explore these fantasies - but baby steps first).

It was great that she managed to talk so openly but said she preferred to talk about these things during sex. I am going to try and engage her when we are not having sex to make her get more comfortable with talking about sex/fantasies.

I also thought that I would open up communication with her via email as it is often easier to write down your feelings or admit to things on paper than in person. When we next discuss our sex life I am going to suggest erotic emails as a great way of building up tension and exploring fantasies. I suppose that speaking about these issues is the first hurdle.

One step at a time - it may be long and hard - but I feel that the result is totally dependant on the planning and the beginning stages. If you slowly, slowly, slowly build up on each innocent idea it will not seem like a big hurdle. It is the steps that are important. I sent her an email today with a couple of pictures and a link to a cuckold couples blog. I am going to try and get her to read about real peoples experiences and to realise that this is perfectly normal and practiced by millions of people. This way she can feel part of a community and not a minority.

Once she feels that it is perfectly normal I am sure she will become more enthusiastic. At the moment though we are in the discussion phase - a very important phase. This is were the rules are set down and assurances are given. I think that one of the biggest problems is that women suspect the motive of the male is to sleep with other women - for the true cuckold this could not be further from the truth. This is the one thing that has to be conveyed without saying it. Difficult.

I am looking forward to tonight. I am not going to make the mistake of talking about what I want, I am going to concentrate on what she wants until I am asked what I want. Then I have to figure out what to say first, I think I am going to suggest emailing each other with sexual content or fantasies. I am also going to suggest we send each other articles to read about other people.

Wish me luck and any suggestions would be appreciated.

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